Penance
by Just An Inkling
Summary: M'gann is the undisputed Queen of Screw-up Mountain. Summary may change later. Episode tag to Before the Dawn, lots of M'gann!feels to be had.


**Excuse this, it's been festering in the "Works Unfinished" bin for weeks now, and I wanted to get it out of there. I'm sick, so quality is minimal, if not nonexistant. **

**Episode tag to _Before the Dawn_, because why not. Can't have too many of those, especially not with this show. **

**Disclaimer: All bullshit, don't sue. **

* * *

_Penance_

"Do you need anything? I mean, I was just on my way down to the kitchen and then Nightwing wanted to see me, I could get you a sandwich or pass a message down to him or-"

"No thanks, Gar," M'gann muttered, rolling over on her bed to face away from the door. "I'm fine. Thanks for asking, though."

Garfield cast a dubious glance over the room-M'gann hadn't even bothered to shift out of her mission uniform, and her favorite microplush blanket (a gift from Artemis one Christmas, on the grounds that M'gann's room was always cold) had been drawn around her in a cocoon. M'gann pulled it tighter around her and muttered despondently, "Please, Gar, just go."

He nodded, and the door slid shut behind him. M'gann sighed and closed her eyes, the image of Kaldur's stunned, slack face burned on her eyelids. "Oh," she squeaked, and turned her face into her pillow to cry.

_She_ had done that. Regardless of what Kaldur had done since he left the team, regardless of who he was now, that was _Kaldur's_ face. His face, the one that used to look at her and smile regardless of what she'd done right or wrong that day. He was _theirs_, he'd been their leader for years before he'd discovered who his father was and left.

And she'd _hurt him._

She'd taken one look and shoved her way through his mind like Connor through a brick wall, knocking down carefully catalogued memories and neat, ordered, quiet thoughts. Every reassuring smile, every unvoiced doubt-she'd taken a mental sledgehammer to it all, kicking and throwing and not caring what got broken.

_Is that how I am with everyone?_

With a shaky breath, she sat up, pushing the heels of her hands against her cheekbones to clear away the film of tears. Hesitantly, she reached out, her consciousness sliding through the cave (four there-Garfield, Connor, Nightwing, and...Zatanna, oddly) and out into the world at large. She didn't even know if she could_ find_ Artemis (and was it even Artemis with Kaldur?), but...it couldn't hurt to try. Right?

* * *

Artemis pushed Kaldur down onto his bunk, her palm flat against his exposed chest. Glancing around at the closed door, she reached for her neck and pulled the charm off, exposing her blond hair to the artificial light. "Kaldur, honey," she sighed, leaning her full upper body on his to keep him pinned to the bed. "Kaldur, just... Just lay down. You took a bad hit. You need to rest, damnit, stay_ put_!"

Kaldur still struggled upward. "The.. The team," he muttered in confusion, trying to get to the door. "Debrief..."

"Kaldur, the team is_ fine_," she insisted, trying to swallow down the lump that formed in her throat. He didn't remember anything-not the mission, not Black Manta, not Tula, not _anything_. He still thought he was Aqualad, and was going to make sure Robin didn't take whatever failure had been his that day too hard. He was still intending to check in with Connor, make sure he talked to Black Canary. Make sure M'gann didn't feel too harassed by Wally's flirting. "The team debriefed while you were unconscious. Batman sent them home, told them to get some rest. He wouldn't be happy if he heard that I had to wrestle you back into bed here."

Kaldur stilled and sank wearily back to the mattress. "Oh," he said quietly, closing his eyes and rolling over. "Does he not wish to speak with me?"

_I'm sure he does_, Artemis thought, a bitter taste permeating her mouth. "Later, he wanted to give you a chance to rest. You took a hard hit out there today." _From M'gann_, the small voice inside her reminded. She felt sick. Undercover or not, it stung.

"I appreciate...," he murmured, rolling over toward the wall. Artemis rested her palm against the top of Kaldur's head, her thumb rubbing gentle circles against his temple.

A gentle, familiar pressure against her mind brought her head snapping up, glancing around with wide eyes._ ...M'gann?_

_I... Artemis?_

Slowly, Artemis retracted her hand from Kaldur's head, as though the physical contact could act as a conduit. _How do I know it's you?_

There was a pause, and the pressure retracted, before returning with a memory of Dick racing around the training room in the cave, her bow clutched tightly under his arm._ "Robin, you asshole,"_ memory-Artemis screeched, haulling after him.

_Yeah. Okay. Point made._

M'gann paused again, and a wave of secondhand sad relief swirled around Artemis's brain._ I thought you... We all..._

_I know. That was the plan._

_Why?_ M'gann sounded so devastated, so desperate for an answer. Artemis sighed.

_Kaldur needed me. I... I can't give you all the details, but ask Nightwing. Tell him you talked to me, and...tell him what happened with Kaldur. All of it._

_I... I can't._

Artemis sighed, leaning her elbows on her knees. Her left foot tapped restlessly against the metal floor of Kaldur's quarters aboard his ship._ M'gann...I can't tell you what's going on, for a lot of reasons. But he can, if you give him a reason to. And...Kaldur's hurt, M'gann. I know you probably didn't mean to, but you really hurt him. It's going to take a long time for him to recover on his own, and I'm not sure we even have that kind of time._

_Oh, I'm so sorry, I just- He's with Manta, now, isn't he? He's the bad guy? ...Right?_

_He's... It's complicated, M'gann. Ask Nightwing. Besides, I need you to tell him about Kaldur. I need a contingency here._

_Okay_, M'gann said quietly. _...Artemis?_

_Yeah, M'gann?_

_...I miss you. So much. And I'm so, so sorry._

The pressure recoiled, and then disappeared completely. Artemis sat still for a long, quiet moment, before sighing and reaching out to stroke her thumb across Kaldur's browbone.

* * *

_Nightwing?_

The nineteen-year-old turned, one eyebrow arched over his mask. "Hey, M'gann," he said out loud with a gentle smile. "Feeling better?" Her confusion must have been enough to wash over into his mind, because he chuckled and gestured in the direction of the library. "Garfield told me you weren't feeling well. I was actually going to check on you before I left tonight."

M'gann hung back from the holographic screens spread out in front of him, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. In some irrational way, she felt that she couldn't hurt him if she kept her distance. "Oh, I'm... I'm okay. Thank you, though."

Nightwing paused, closed out his screens, and took a nonchalant step toward her. "M'gann," he started, reaching out for her hand. "Can I ask you for something?"

"Ah- Anything," M'gann stammered.

"Please don't lie to me."

She took a step back from him and glanced around, looking for something else to occupy her attention. Nightwing's hand tightened around hers, just a gentle, grounding pressure. After a moment, he tugged her toward the kitchen. "How about ice cream," he suggested, his tone equal parts soothing and concerned.

"Okay," she muttered, letting herself be dragged to the island. Telepathically, she pulled out two of the barstools and lifted two spoons out of the drawer for them. Nightwing pulled up his wrist computer and shut off the security cameras before ducking into the freezer and resurfacing with a carton of butter pecan.

"Alright," he said, pulling his barstool up to the counter and prying the lid off the ice cream carton. "What's going on?" When M'gann didn't answer, he leaned in close with a small, coaxing smile. "M'gann, it's been, what? Almost six years? You can talk to me." He reached up and pulled his mask off, laying it on the counter. "Please, talk to me."

She took a deep breath and picked up her spoon. "...I saw Artemis," she said finally.

Dick sat back and reached for his own spoon with a sad sigh. "M'gann, Artemis is-"

"No," M'gann said, sudden and quiet. "Let me finish, please." When Dick was silent, she continued. "I saw Artemis. When I saw Kaldur in that alien base, I..." She took another, less steady breath. "I hurt him. I was so angry, and so upset that he'd taken La'gaan and that he'd _left all of us_, and I... I pushed. I shoved my way into his mind and just...knocked everything over. _I broke Kaldur._"

Dick was quiet for a long moment, sucking on the end of his spoon. "Okay," he said after a while. "You said you saw Artemis."

M'gann nodded. "She came right after I... Garfield was right behind me, and he got there right about the same time, and she threw a smoke bomb and vanished with Kaldur. She...looked different. On the surface. But... Remember what I told you, about everyone's mind feels different to me?"

"Yeah, the same way voices sound different, right?"

"Yes. It...it _felt_ like her. I was going to do the same thing to her, hurt her the same way, and then...I felt her mind. And I stopped."

"Well, that's good. That you stopped," Dick sighed.

"And...I found her, just a couple hours ago. She's not very far away, but I don't really know where. She told me to...talk to you. Ask you about it."

"Of course she did," Dick said blankly, digging his spoon into the ice cream. "Well. Where should I start?"

M'gann bit her lip. For once, she had too many holes, so much missing information that she couldn't even fathom what she didn't know. "Is Kaldur...you know. Evil?"

"Currently? I don't know what he's like, since you, as you put it, broke him. But no, he wasn't evil the last time I _talked_ to him. He's undercover, feeding intel to me through coordinated attacks."

"And Artemis?"

Dick nodded. "Still alive, also undercover as Tigress. Kaldur needed a hand, and Artemis was the only person I could spare."

"Does Wally know she's still alive?"

"He's in on it, yeah. More so he doesn't kill someone than anything."

"...Artemis said she needed a contingency. Because of...because of me."

Dick turned on his barstool and slid his hand around the back of her neck. "Hey. Listen to me. Don't take that on-you knew exactly nothing of what we've been doing. You had _no way of knowing_ Kaldur was on our side, or Artemis was still alive. You did what you thought was necessary, and that's all any of us can do, okay?"

M'gann leaned over into his shoulder and felt his other arm slide around her in a loose hug. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Plausible deniability," he sighed. "And your belief in his betrayal made it easier to keep his-their-cover."

M'gann stayed still, soaking up the sensation of Dick absently rubbing circles on her shoulders. The brotherly contact felt nice, especially after bowing to Garfield's need for maternal attention and La'gaan's romantic overtures for so long. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"...I don't know. Can I be sorry for everything?"

Dick chuckled. "You could, but it wouldn't be very healthy." He leaned his cheek against the side of her head. "You sure you're okay?"

M'gann sat up with a watery smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for asking."

"As your best friend, it's my job to ask," he said, brushing her bangs away from her forehead. "Thanks for not keeping this to yourself."

"...Would you keep me posted? On what's going on?"

Dick sighed. His fingers reached for his mask, picking it up and twirling it around so he was looking at the mesh eyes. "I can't make any promises, but...I'll make sure you know if one of them is seriously injured. How's that?"

M'gann nodded reluctantly. "Okay, fair."

"You'll keep this a secret?"

"Keep what a secret?"

Dick smiled. "Ah, you're learning."

M'gann smiled back, before growing serious again. "Unless someone really gets hurt. Then, I reserve the right to involve anyone who can help."

"...Alright, fair," Dick sighed. "I trust you."

* * *

**Blech. Ending. In lieu of flowers, you can send reviews to my funeral, because this cold is killing me.**


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